where am i from again
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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