I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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