Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
you never un-have a 4some
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
