WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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