I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
