I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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