I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
