Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
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probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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