I haven't been this sober since birth.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
