went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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