I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
