I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
