Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize