Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
