My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
