I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
