Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
