What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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