I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I wish my penis had an off switch
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
