dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize