You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
