it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
