Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
