I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
