So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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