best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
