Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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