talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
