I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize