Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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