at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
