did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
