Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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