Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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