I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
