You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
