I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
