I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
should my penis look like a turkey
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
