Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
