just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
