i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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