tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize