ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
