Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
