I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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