i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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