grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
