She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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