how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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