yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
