I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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