Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
