dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
