This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
