i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize