I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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