So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
