Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
