Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
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EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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