ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
