You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
