Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
