I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
home. puking in laundry basket.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
