I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
this hospital has no fireball
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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