Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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