So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
