my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
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he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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