Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
